Why? Why? Why suddenly everything in my life changed upside down?
Firstly, I failed my exam and I just get a CGPA of 2.1. I lost my scholarship and I even lost my confidence in studying ACCA. But, I do believe I can do better in the next round. I believe failing is part of life to make us more successful.
But, why?? Why God take away my Dad in the hardest time of mine? I haven't do many things with my Dad. I haven't bought him any present. I never say "I LOVE YOU, DADDY". I sometimes even didn't talk with him nicely. He still haven't teach my how to drive. I now can't do anything with him anymore, forever and ever.
Actually until this moment, I still can't accept the fact that my Daddy had left us. Maybe it's too sudden. Ya, it's definitely too sudden for everyone of us. Now, I really don't feel like going back to KL anymore, it remind me on that Sunday whereby Daddy and I should be prepared to back KL after dinner. But, before we could have our dinner together, Daddy already left us without our notice.
Though I know life must move on, but it's just too hard for us. I know I really don't know how to express my feelings but I just wanted to tell Daddy (if you are still around us), "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! and I'LL MISS YOU FOREVER". I hope that GOD will take good care of my Daddy until one day where we can reunion. R.I.P, Daddy!!! I am so PROUD to have you as my Daddy!! You're the BEST DADDY!!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
我回來了 :(
突然心血來潮想寫blog。
心情好差，好煩，好擔心，好內疚。
好想用寫blog嚟發泄我geh心情。
今天早上考試，做咗好似冇做咁樣。好煩吖，好擔心會fail。我唔想我父母對我失望。
心覺得而家的生活完全不是人的生活，it’s more like a life of a soldier having a war.
係唔係人越大就會有更多更多geh 煩惱，更多憂慮。點解？Why？Why we have to undergo all these kind of things in life.
更多geh stress 令到我就嚟瘋啦。
太多考驗啦，我接受唔到囉。
希望我的身體同心理能撐到11號啦。
希望神會救我啦。amen <3
Friday, December 31, 2010
last day for 2010
Since today is the last day of the year, everyone is busy planning how to celebrate new year and where to go. Everyone are happy except me.
I definitely hate today. Today will be my worst new year eve i had ever had. Since Malaysia had won, today is a public holiday for the whole country. But, why today is a holiday?? If today is not a public holiday, I think I won't be so sad.
I hate them. Am I requesting too much??? Why they can't return back my things in a good way?? Keep asking which one you want?? I just want back all my stuff. Why you idiot want to care whether I will use my books again or not. Just return back to me without much noise.
Why... is it having a loud voice is a crime?? Is it speaking loudly means I don't have any manners?? Is it me who is wrong all the time??? I am the 坏人 and I am always be the mad one isn't it?? Ya....I know you just don't care about me one...you just care about your sons. What am I to you??? Nothing...I am nothing to you. I am always the one doing wrong. I just a useless daughter of yours. I just know how to spend your money...is it??
Ya...I like to scream...it is a crime?? Whatever I do is wrong.
I just need some care...have you ever care about me....
your son go where also you care so much....how about me...???
ya...I am jealous....I hate to be the eldest....
People always say being the only daughter, your parents sure very "sayang" you la...
NO....being the only daughter to my parents is NOTHING~~ They are just like the typical traditional chinese...ONLY CARE about the SONS. DAUGHTER is just like a pail of water that will be pour out...
Having a good result also means nothing...they just say educated people are just very arrogant and too proud of themselves... Then why should I study anymore....
I HATE THEM and I EVEN HATE MYSELF....
I just don't know what have I type...I am too stress out and sad now....I think I am going to be insane soon...
I definitely hate today. Today will be my worst new year eve i had ever had. Since Malaysia had won, today is a public holiday for the whole country. But, why today is a holiday?? If today is not a public holiday, I think I won't be so sad.
I hate them. Am I requesting too much??? Why they can't return back my things in a good way?? Keep asking which one you want?? I just want back all my stuff. Why you idiot want to care whether I will use my books again or not. Just return back to me without much noise.
Why... is it having a loud voice is a crime?? Is it speaking loudly means I don't have any manners?? Is it me who is wrong all the time??? I am the 坏人 and I am always be the mad one isn't it?? Ya....I know you just don't care about me one...you just care about your sons. What am I to you??? Nothing...I am nothing to you. I am always the one doing wrong. I just a useless daughter of yours. I just know how to spend your money...is it??
Ya...I like to scream...it is a crime?? Whatever I do is wrong.
I just need some care...have you ever care about me....
your son go where also you care so much....how about me...???
ya...I am jealous....I hate to be the eldest....
People always say being the only daughter, your parents sure very "sayang" you la...
NO....being the only daughter to my parents is NOTHING~~ They are just like the typical traditional chinese...ONLY CARE about the SONS. DAUGHTER is just like a pail of water that will be pour out...
Having a good result also means nothing...they just say educated people are just very arrogant and too proud of themselves... Then why should I study anymore....
I HATE THEM and I EVEN HATE MYSELF....
I just don't know what have I type...I am too stress out and sad now....I think I am going to be insane soon...
Monday, October 11, 2010
煩惱是自尋的
As usual, 我係一個鍾意自尋煩惱的一個傻人。冇錯啊、我都係鐘意難為自己的。Everyone hope to treat themselves in a better way. But for me, I just like to search more and more trouble for myself.
Even it's just a really small matter, I can transform it until the matter is as HUGE as a BIG mountain. I know it seems too exaggerate but for me...it's a fact.
Why I'm so CRUEL to myself? Even to decide whether to cut my hair or not also give me a HEADACHE. Why can't I think more simple?? Oh~ my brain, what are you thinking about?
All this kind of 煩惱 really make me feels depressed. But I'm too weak to control it. And in the end, I was the one who is getting control by all this 煩惱 which is the DEVIL in me. I want to get rid of the DEVIL inside me. But how? Can you see...I am creating a new trouble for myself again. I'm such an idiot. Though this word "idiot" really mean but it is the most suitable word to describe me.
I think I can only find happiness if I can get rid of all these troubles. But, when will it comes, my happiness???
I always wish that I could be 傻傻過日晨。Then, maybe I'll be more cheerful. But, I understand I won't find it before I could change my personalities. I was used to give myself a lot of stress to accomplish my goal. I have too much goals to score but I don't really have the ability to handle all of them.
Kenix, maybe you should let go of your goals. You can't accomplish all of them. All of them only can give you sadness. Please, don't waste your youth with all these. You should enjoy your life to the fullest.
哈哈、説就容易、行動就很難囉。
Who really can do it?? I really can't manage and I think I'll going to live with all my troubles till the end of my chapter.
P/S: Today is Goomo's birthday. 祝她生日快樂 and 身體健康、永久開心。哈哈
All this kind of 煩惱 really make me feels depressed. But I'm too weak to control it. And in the end, I was the one who is getting control by all this 煩惱 which is the DEVIL in me. I want to get rid of the DEVIL inside me. But how? Can you see...I am creating a new trouble for myself again. I'm such an idiot. Though this word "idiot" really mean but it is the most suitable word to describe me.
I think I can only find happiness if I can get rid of all these troubles. But, when will it comes, my happiness???
I always wish that I could be 傻傻過日晨。Then, maybe I'll be more cheerful. But, I understand I won't find it before I could change my personalities. I was used to give myself a lot of stress to accomplish my goal. I have too much goals to score but I don't really have the ability to handle all of them.
Kenix, maybe you should let go of your goals. You can't accomplish all of them. All of them only can give you sadness. Please, don't waste your youth with all these. You should enjoy your life to the fullest.
哈哈、説就容易、行動就很難囉。
Who really can do it?? I really can't manage and I think I'll going to live with all my troubles till the end of my chapter.
P/S: Today is Goomo's birthday. 祝她生日快樂 and 身體健康、永久開心。哈哈
Sunday, October 10, 2010
101010
Today is a very special day cause today is 101010.
Today only I realised that Anita Mui was born on this day 10 Oct. Wish her a happy birthday and wish her find her happiness in the another world. ^^
Today have been a busy weekend for me. Busy with all those tutorials. Feels so boring about it already. Luckily, I have my concert video accompanied me doing all those tutorials. Now, my works have already finished 85%.
Haha...now doing what?? Writing blog and accompany by HK903. Yeah~~I'm listening to HOCC radio interview on her latest album. Huh...I'd waited for 1 week already but I still haven't receive any calls from the CDs shop. Wonder when is the album will be available??
That's all for today la...and before I forget I'm going to wish my friend, Shok Yien a happy birthday. Wish her happy always and all the best in life. =D
Today only I realised that Anita Mui was born on this day 10 Oct. Wish her a happy birthday and wish her find her happiness in the another world. ^^
Today have been a busy weekend for me. Busy with all those tutorials. Feels so boring about it already. Luckily, I have my concert video accompanied me doing all those tutorials. Now, my works have already finished 85%.
Haha...now doing what?? Writing blog and accompany by HK903. Yeah~~I'm listening to HOCC radio interview on her latest album. Huh...I'd waited for 1 week already but I still haven't receive any calls from the CDs shop. Wonder when is the album will be available??
That's all for today la...and before I forget I'm going to wish my friend, Shok Yien a happy birthday. Wish her happy always and all the best in life. =D
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
It's Monday again~~
At the beginning, I thought I will like Monday cause I'll be having my Business Economics. I like Econs. But now I don't think so...I hate MONDAY due to the "lecturer" who is teaching me Business Law. I was so frustrated with that "lecturer". Feels like want to give her a slap on her face and give her some punches. Whacha~~~~hsss !@#$%
Oh my gosh~~ I think this semester I will defeat by the Business Law. "Thanks" for having such a lecturer. This kind of lecturer is only killing us.
I really have no ideas whether she is teaching LAW or 儸柚(backside). During the whole two hours lecture, keeps on "ass here, ass there, ass everywhere". She is the "best lecturer" I have ever seen since my first day here. Every lecturer hopes that their students will buying textbook so that they can understand more. But, she is the ONLY one who ask back the students, "Hah~~, you all needs textbook?? No need, don't make your life so DIFFICULT". I think with this kind of lecturer, I'm sure my life is going to be TRIPLE more DIFFICULT. She is DAMN LAZY...when we asked when is the replacement class. You know what she answered??
She answered,"Why you all like to make your life difficult?? Replacement class later 啦～～
All lecturers want to settle all the replacement class at the beginning of the semester such as Ms. Boey who replaced our class last week. But she's totally different...want to postpone all things later.
But, you guess who is the last one who suffer?? Sure is us, students will definitely suffer at the end when she can't complete the syllabus. Can I have another lecturer, please??
Oh, I wished she can migrate somewhere else and stop teaching us~~~ FUCK her!!!!
Sorry for being so impolite but I really can't stand her attitude in teaching. She is damn NOT PRO... Having her as my lecturer is my WORST thing in this whole semester. 死囉
PS: This is what I done during her two hours RUBBISH lecture.
Oh my gosh~~ I think this semester I will defeat by the Business Law. "Thanks" for having such a lecturer. This kind of lecturer is only killing us.
I really have no ideas whether she is teaching LAW or 儸柚(backside). During the whole two hours lecture, keeps on "ass here, ass there, ass everywhere". She is the "best lecturer" I have ever seen since my first day here. Every lecturer hopes that their students will buying textbook so that they can understand more. But, she is the ONLY one who ask back the students, "Hah~~, you all needs textbook?? No need, don't make your life so DIFFICULT". I think with this kind of lecturer, I'm sure my life is going to be TRIPLE more DIFFICULT. She is DAMN LAZY...when we asked when is the replacement class. You know what she answered??
She answered,"Why you all like to make your life difficult?? Replacement class later 啦～～
All lecturers want to settle all the replacement class at the beginning of the semester such as Ms. Boey who replaced our class last week. But she's totally different...want to postpone all things later.
But, you guess who is the last one who suffer?? Sure is us, students will definitely suffer at the end when she can't complete the syllabus. Can I have another lecturer, please??
Oh, I wished she can migrate somewhere else and stop teaching us~~~ FUCK her!!!!
Sorry for being so impolite but I really can't stand her attitude in teaching. She is damn NOT PRO... Having her as my lecturer is my WORST thing in this whole semester. 死囉
PS: This is what I done during her two hours RUBBISH lecture.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Judgement Day
Today is a very important day for me...my JUDGEMENT DAY.
But to my surprise, I'm not as nervous as I think. Because of yesterday I slept very late, I only woke up around 10AM today. Once I opened my Facebook, many of them already post that results released already.
Though I'm not nervous, but I'm not dare enough to open my Intranet myself. I'd waited for about 10 minutes before I dare to open up the TARC website. Once I clicked on Intranet and key in my ID and PW, I quickly shift to my Facebook page (waiting for the page to load). Once I opened back that page, I was so SURPRISE. I get a B- for my Financial Accounting. Though it was not the best result, but I really grateful that I didn't fail this subject. Thanks God for it. The other four subjects are quite GOOD. Overall, I'm quite satisfy with my results though my CGPA had dropped a lot. ==
After checking my results, I cooked myself the last packet of the Korean Mee that Daddy bought and made myself a cup of HOT Milo.
Just now I followed my Mom to Herbalife to weigh my weight. Hmm, I know my results sure are all very bad ge la. My metabolism age is 29, which is 10 years older than my actual age. This doesn't sound good 囉. Then, my Mom's coach asked my whether I get enough sleep and drink enough water or not. 哈哈~~ My answer is definitely NO 囉. Then, she also said that one's 心情 is also very important. A happy person will have a better health than a person who always think negatively.
I'm always a negative thinker. Huh~~ how should I change? How to become a HAPPIER person. 死得啦. Want to be happy also don't know? Maybe I really shouldn't think too much la. I should become easy come and easy go. Everything happens is already 注定. Talk 就easy la...but when it comes to action 就 very difficult 囉.
Hmm...lately I don't why suddenly my interest to learn guitar is back. But I'm not sure whether I really want to learn or just to play for fun only. Do you think guitar is suitable for me? Will it be difficult to learn at my age where all my fingers are very robotic now? It is difficult to learn the music notes?? Huh~~ I want to learn something also so 麻煩.
But to my surprise, I'm not as nervous as I think. Because of yesterday I slept very late, I only woke up around 10AM today. Once I opened my Facebook, many of them already post that results released already.
Though I'm not nervous, but I'm not dare enough to open my Intranet myself. I'd waited for about 10 minutes before I dare to open up the TARC website. Once I clicked on Intranet and key in my ID and PW, I quickly shift to my Facebook page (waiting for the page to load). Once I opened back that page, I was so SURPRISE. I get a B- for my Financial Accounting. Though it was not the best result, but I really grateful that I didn't fail this subject. Thanks God for it. The other four subjects are quite GOOD. Overall, I'm quite satisfy with my results though my CGPA had dropped a lot. ==
After checking my results, I cooked myself the last packet of the Korean Mee that Daddy bought and made myself a cup of HOT Milo.
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| my lunch |
Just now I followed my Mom to Herbalife to weigh my weight. Hmm, I know my results sure are all very bad ge la. My metabolism age is 29, which is 10 years older than my actual age. This doesn't sound good 囉. Then, my Mom's coach asked my whether I get enough sleep and drink enough water or not. 哈哈~~ My answer is definitely NO 囉. Then, she also said that one's 心情 is also very important. A happy person will have a better health than a person who always think negatively.
I'm always a negative thinker. Huh~~ how should I change? How to become a HAPPIER person. 死得啦. Want to be happy also don't know? Maybe I really shouldn't think too much la. I should become easy come and easy go. Everything happens is already 注定. Talk 就easy la...but when it comes to action 就 very difficult 囉.
Hmm...lately I don't why suddenly my interest to learn guitar is back. But I'm not sure whether I really want to learn or just to play for fun only. Do you think guitar is suitable for me? Will it be difficult to learn at my age where all my fingers are very robotic now? It is difficult to learn the music notes?? Huh~~ I want to learn something also so 麻煩.
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| Should I learn guitar??? |
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