sTop aLL tHis nOnsEnSe!!!!

actually how is the feeling of being a happy person.........???? happy??? i think in my dictionary....there is no the word "happy".....i really dun understand why i always feel sad n depressed de.....??? although i noe......as i am living in this beautiful world.......i should enjoy n be happy every second of it.....but juz dun noe how to express that feeling......i juz feel sad la.........others ppl holidays..........happy...go here n there for vacations.....but for me.........i hav no where to go........i juz can hang around at my tiny little room oli........facing the four walls........i wan to be happy.......OMG.....i think abt it n i found out that i haven't be really happy this year.........this year is really a terrible year for me la....everything i hav done this year seem bad.......no matter in wat category........but xpecially de scout la.........yesterday i read back my blog..........i feel very sad.........for wat's happening to de SCOUT this year..............i really "sai sam" lo.....to SCOUT.....but i think problems will exist next year...........n many problems are cuming......but i think it is already none of my business la....but it is better dun involve me in those troubles jau ok la.............next year..........is CCY really transfer to sentosa .......but y can he be so "cekal" ke....say wan transfer jau transfer ke??? i really wanna salute him lo.............another things tat i am unhappy of is y sum of my frens is so irresponsible ke?? borrow liao ppl things dunno return back....??? ppl ask liao still dun wan return ka??? i really hate this kind of ppl ge la....so hateful la.............ok la..........this few days..........i hav insomnia again.........so tmr i wanna write a blog abt my history or mayb a blog abt me myself ge la........if i gt on9.........in the middle of the night..........hahaha!!!!