Disappointing.......Sad.....

Oo....i am so disappointing of myself...it is already the end of the year since PMR is juz one week left.....Why i feel so DIFFERENT....??? Last year, during these period of time....i seem working and struggling very hard for my PMR. But me now is only "struggling very hard" to online, msning and oso watching television non-stop until i "burn the midnight oil".......ppl burn their midnight oil for studying but...........for me juz doing all these rubbish.....WHY???? WHAT IS MY PROBLEMS??? actually i know that i am very lazy and i always like to online without time management....but i really can't help with my bad and terrible attitude.....i always promise myself to study and do revision on the topic which i am weak in...BUT........dunno why my promise cannot last for even 2 weeks ....Once i saw the computer, i will definitely go and switched it on and started to online....i am so addicted to it now....How can i cure my "sickness" ??? WHAT SHOULD I DO??? To add to that, i am very disappointed with my frenz.......i feel very sad........and extremely sad......Yugathes often asked me whether i hav found my true frenz or not.....? i think in all my school times.....i won't find my true frenz......so i hav decided to give up......looking forward for my true frenz....Actually i oso dun wan to giv up but....wat can i do?? Maybe i really dunno wat is friendship all abt?? or mayb there's something wrong with my attitudes.....but i really cannot do anything now..!!! if they are really my true frenz, they should undestand me and guide me to the correct way.....but they DID'T...??? they didn't try to understand me.....or even wanted to know more abt me.....!! Yugathes got ask me before why i dun like tell my frenz my problems?? Let me tell you why .....i dun like to share my problems with my frenz..!! this is because i feel that about all my frenz cannot be trusted..........if i tell them something......they sure will tell to others....i dun hav trust in anyone including myself !!! maybe because i like to "pendamkan" all my feelings...that's why i always feel sad and depress..!! ok.....watever la....cuz until i finish my form 5 oso ......i won't find the person who i can trust...then .....juz forget abt it lo.....LEAVE me ALONE!!!!LONELY YEE!!!!!!!!!!!!